The Need for Forgiveness
In the Lord’s Prayer there are three personal requests that are made to the Father:

The only thing that was expounded on was the issue of forgiveness, for God says, “If you do not forgive, I will not forgive” This is a problem because if we are not forgiven, in that we are left to walk around with our sins, then our prayers remain unanswered because God will not hear them.

Forgiveness as a prerequisite for entering God’s presence – Mark 11:25-26
Forgiveness as a prerequisite of being forgiven
Forgiveness as a result of being forgiven – Matthew 18:21-35

Forgiveness was probably the most significant part/element of Jesus earthly ministry, for it was linked to everything that He did – down to the very end while hanging on the cross He demonstrated once more the power of His love in forgiveness when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” (cf. Luke 23:34)

What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness and the ability to forgive is a divine characteristic that has been imparted to us by God Himself. The root of the word ‘forgive’ simply means to cancel, remit, dismiss or to let go, release.

Forgiveness then encompasses the emotional release of the person and the debt or trespass, but unless forgiveness is done from the heart, it is not valid. Why? Because the heart seats the emotions, where most of the pain is stored.

Numbing the pain and suppressing the memory or otherwise drowning it out does not mean that you have forgiven. Forgiveness is conscious and requires that you consciously have view of the situation and the perpetrator and you choose to pardon and release both from your heart.

What If It Hurts?
Often, it is pain that throbs long after the event has taken place that fuels our unwillingness to forgive. There are a number of reasons for this:

We hurt so we want them to suffer pain as much as we have suffered.
Because the pain is felt every time the event is remembered the person who caused the pain is held at ransom.
Because we consider what we’ve lost through the process to be irreplaceable, {whether it’s a physical ability, e.g. sight} to our reputation for some reason the memory and the pain seems to be the best substitute.
We feel the perpetrator does not deserve forgiveness because they are wicked.

For these reasons and others, it is necessary to be healed of the pain and healing comes through God. When the constant memory of an event and the intense recurring pain seems to hinder you from releasing someone from the prison of your heart, let the power of His healing be the key that unlocks the prison door. Also, when you release someone there are two things that take place:

You have released them into God’s hand and as such He is now able to address the matter.
You have now given God access to the wounded part of your heart so that He will not only heal but also restore even that which you thought was irreplaceable.

Finally, self-forgiveness can sometimes be the most challenging part of the process of forgiveness, but know this – what God has forgiven you of is, in His divine realm, separated from you as far as the east is from the west. What you think that you have done that cannot be repaired is not your call to make. A person who has held themselves as a captive of their own unforgiveness needs to likewise speak with God concerning their pain and ask Him to heal them. Then release it into His hands.